Route B: North by Northwest

The second path up for consideration in our cross-country journey is the far northern option. Parts of it would be impossible (or at least inadvisable) in winter, but in mid-September it ought to be lovely. This route also carries the bonus of bringing us right by my friend Jamie in Wisconsin, whom I only get to see about once a year if we're lucky. It also contains an absolute wealth of bizarre attractions. Down side: those attractions are reaaaaaaallllllly far apart in Montana.

Route B: I-70, I-90, and I-94 - North by Northwest

States

Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, North Dakota, Montana, Washington, Oregon

Cities

Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Toledo, Gary, Chicago, Madison, Minneapolis, Fargo, Bismarck, Billings, Butte, Spokane

Attractions

Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Indiana are all the same as Route A. I-70 is pretty much the way to get out of Virginia going to the northwest.

Illinois

Weber Grill Restaurant/Giant Weber Grill (Schaumburg, IL) - There are apparently tons of giant Weber grills, but this one is the official giant Weber grill.

Sock Monkey Museum (Rockford, IL) – Not only does it contain loads of Sock Monkey things, but it also celebrates the Rockford Peaches, whom you may remember as Kit and Dottie's baseball team in A League of Their Own. That's reason enough to go all by itself.

Wisconsin

Two Story Outhouse (Janesville, WI) – possibly used by Abraham Lincoln. He stayed at the house the Two Story Outhouse is attached to, and it stands to reason that he probably had to poop sometime while he was there.

Bessie the Cow (Janesville, WI) – giant fiberglass cow. I told you there were a bunch of giant fiberglass cows, didn't I?

Ella’s Animatronic Deli (Madison, WI) - A reportedly good deli and bakery, coincidentally filled with various whirring, spinning, and squawking animatronic thingies.

Mouse House Cheesehaus (Windsor, WI) – notable for the giant mouse nibbling a proportionately large block of cheese

Pink Elephant (DeForest, WI) – life-sized pink elephant wearing glasses. Big black hipster glasses.

World’s Largest Flamingo (Wisconsin Dells, WI) – at the Flamingo Hotel. Does not, sadly, have big black hipster glasses.

Fiberglass Graveyard Riding Stable (Wisconsin Dells, WI) – Ride your horse through a landscape of abandoned fiberglass attractions from the Dells.

Upside Down White House (Wisconsin Dells, WI) – exactly what it sounds like. I'm told there are many Upside Down White Houses, but this one is supposed to be both the biggest and the best.

Wisconsin Cranberry Discovery Center (Warrens, WI) – “Displays the contents of Cranberry Expo, an earlier cranberry discovery attraction. Ice cream parlor serves six flavors of cranberry ice cream.” There is also a bakery featuring cranberry muffins, cranberry bread, and cranberry salsa. If we can order a vodka-cranberry there, we may have to crash for the night.

Dead Mailmen Haunted Castle (Elk Mound, WI) – “Mound Hill Park Castle is a 3-story observation tower built in 1937, later dedicated as a memorial to Dunn County postal employees...and said to be haunted.” I keep calling it the Dead Milkmen castle in my head, though.

Wisconsin’s Finest Taxidermy and Cheese Shop (Hudson, WI) – Or so the sign on the trailer says, anyway.

Minnesota

Continental Divide Marker (Fergus Falls, MN) - and I guess that's cool.

40 Foot Otter (Fergus Falls, MN) – there’s also a giant goose

13 foot Prairie Chicken (Rothsay, MN) - "Blooming" Prairie Chicken, to be exact. That is apparently a big deal.

Viking Ship Replica (Moorhead, MN) - YAAAARRRRR!!!!

North Dakota

World’s Largest Buffalo (Jamestown, ND)

World’s Largest Sandhill Crane (Steele, ND) – the bird, not the equipment. 40 ft. high

World’s Largest Holstein Cow (New Salem, ND) - I like how they get specific about breed so it stands out from the other giant cows.

Montana

Glendisaurus (Glendive, MT) – Big statue of a triceratops

Pompey’s Pillar (Worden, MT) – 150 ft sandstone butte

Bar with Two-Headed Calf (Columbus, MT) – New Atlas Bar. We like bars. I'm not necessarily so jazzed about the two-headed calf part, but Kate and Pat will be.

Mysterious Ringing Rocks (Pipestone, MT) – Hit the rocks and they ring like bells. Includes warning to “watch for bears." Danger Zone!!

Our Lady of the Rockies (Butte, MT) – 90 ft. Virgin Mary. We'll probably just have to see this from the road - actually getting to her is a pretty extensive hike to be taking in the middle of a journey of this length.

Historic Dumas Brothel Museum (Butte, MT) - now under new ownership!

World Famous 50,000 Silver Dollar Bar (Haugan, MT) – the walls of the bar are lined with silver dollars. That's cool. And...ya know, bar.

Idaho

Scrap Metal Sculptures (Kellogg, ID) – rumor has it they’re whimsical

Washington

Marvin Carr’s One of A Kind in the World Museum (Spokane, WA) – Marvin Carr is apparently a consummate collector of the unusual. Might be nice for one last stop before arrival. 

Tomorrow, the third and final route: Rib Country.